Originally Posted by Shwing

did you shave your asshole?

Originally Posted by mangler65

WTF? do I have to shave my asshole to use the shoutbox?

Originally Posted by Shwing

Yes

Originally Posted by mangler65

Well, I don't shave my asshole. But I do Nair my ass to keep it smooth. That should be good enough. Now get this shoutbox to work again.

Originally Posted by OG

drunken TLDR WARNING AHEADd s So plz

sup

keep goooing plz



HAHAAH no im not, are u kidding me?

Well more leik 3/4 bottle of a 500 ml water bottle of whiskey, i think thats liek spitty's fav drink, i dunno wyh he likes this siht , cause i almost puke 3 times trying to swallow that shit. Mind u i tried chugging it , to get to the point faster, but hey thats besides the punt. Point !

I drank it in say 15 min, so i should be getting fucked soon, im really fucked now, so soon will be better.
Im gonna go smoke my brains out now in the garage, DONT WORRY IM NOT DRIVING ANYWHERE. U think im stoud lol no
ok i dont think i can walk, now
but i need to smoke a cigg or maybe 8, casue thats how much i have left.
balls to the wall, ill be back maybe soon. if i fall and cant get upo. then shit, see u in the morniuhg.,. but il be ok.

PS. Amused is the most aweesweomest person, ever. So if u looking for an awesome girl she is ur gal. if u mess with her, ill find u and kill u. Ok no i wont kill u cause thats against the law, but if ur in the US, ill say u attacked me first and i get away with murder. How fucked i sthat? I mean really
the one thing i like about the uS is i can have a fuckin gun in my houe. and if some mother fucker comes in threatening me, i can cap his ass and the cops would give me props.
In Canada??/
hahaha they would protect the fuckin cocksuckin burgler faggot more then they would me. Its fuckin retarded.
meh but thank god, here we dont have to worry about that shit much. So i guess im ok. but still i wouldnt mind a gun, even thoug im against them i think.
WHetaver ill stop now. i need scsmokeing a cigg. shit spittfyre is gonna come in here with his TLDR bullshit

ok fine

bye

im sorry my HO's im just fucked and feel good , at least i hope u can get a good humpday laugh out of this

Originally Posted by OG

oh my goodness, have fun reading that, cause i cant
ok time me
brbr

Originally Posted by OG

dufficalty walking, but i be ok dont worrty
breb

Originally Posted by OG

well, 47 min and im back, i blwe thur 5 ciggs lol
and i notgiced the booze wasnt kicking mooore . so since i had to pee really bad i cane in to piss and grabbed the remainder of the 1.14 L whiskey bottle , which is may i add shit, like 3/4 full.
maybe i should drink a little more and put it away, i mean it is 3 48 am now.
340 i mean
shit i typeing fast now.
So im gonna drink up little more. and see ho wit goes.
brb

im sorry, i appoligize to everyone, dont think im a druhnk , im really a non drinker, but its aphase for me for the last 2 weeks say. Soon im giving it all up cause i got really important shgit to ford focus on, (haha get it?) and i cant be doing this shit.
So ces la vie or how u spell it
and fuck em all for nopw.
party time eh
brb

im sorry guys

Originally Posted by OG

wtf is u all sleeping? weak
ok i go drink small more and smoke
brb with report on stuff

Originally Posted by OG

is you all sleeping

well i gott apiss realloy bad again
so i fgo pee
since my pee room is near the door i go smoke
brb

Originally Posted by OG

is you all sleeping

well i gott apiss realloy bad again
so i fgo pee
since my pee room is near the door i go smoke
brb

Originally Posted by Cheops

My dogs act like that when I've only been gone for a few hours. I can't imagine how fired up the Poodle Posse would be if i were gone for a year.

Originally Posted by Reverend Sam

OK... the pain relievers they put me on after the surgery cause constipation. I took a crap about a week ago, but that was the last one. I've tried to crap a couple of times, but it just wasn't happening. Tonight I bought some suppositories and shoved a couple up my ass. I really had to shit, but even after the suppositories, it just wasn't gonna happen. I had to shit sooooo bad. I sat on the pot for 45 fucking minutes after the suppositories, but only one little tiny turd popped out.

Finally I was like "fuck it". I went upstairs and found this hose that I used to use to siphon my fish tank. It's about 5/8ths inch in diameter and about 7 feet long. I filled it up with warm water, shoved it up my ass (that hurt), and blew into the other end of it to force the water up my ass (I stood in the shower while doing this). I pulled out the hose and squeezed my ass cheeks together to keep the water from running out. I immediately sat down on the pot and most of the water shot out even though I tried to keep it in. I tried to crap, but still no go.

So then I filled up the hose again. This time I lubricated my asshole with some Preparation H because the tube insertion hurt too much the first time. I did the same thing all over again, but this time I stood in the shower for 10 minutes or so to let the ginormous turd in my rectum soften. After 10 minutes I sat down on the pot and the pint or so of water immediately shot out into the toilet. But, I was finally able to force out the turd! It hurt like hell, and I nearly passed out (seriously) from straining to hard, but it came out. When I wiped the toilet paper was bloody as hell, so I know my asshole is going to be all itchy tomorrow. I'll have to use the Prep H after I get out of the shower.

Anyway, I was successful at last! That was my most difficult, most painful turd ever. I hope in never happens again.

See... this is why I haven't told my friends about HO. They would harass me for the next five years. But I don't give a shit if you guys give me a hard time.

Originally Posted by Reverend Sam

Sterile? I washed it off first. How sterile is my shit? It's full of fecal coliform bacteria. I wasn't worried about the sterility of the tube.

I'll tell you this though, it fucking hurt going in. There's no fucking way I could ever do the gay thing. I'll never bug my wife about anal sex again, either.

Originally Posted by AmuseD

Guys are only allowed to call me that when their dick is balls deep in my ass, pullin my hair and fuckin me like a dirty lil ho.

Originally Posted by nibbe828

I had a girl drop a nugget on me when we were having sex.

Originally Posted by nibbe828

Rephrase: A girl dropped a nugget on me when we were having sex.

Originally Posted by ~QueenBee~

very few of my chick friends swallow. Personally I like the taste of cum, so I swallow quite happily

Originally Posted by Reverend Sam

I'd rather die of butt cancer than let anyone near my asshole. There have been two things go up my butt the wrong way. Everyone here knows about the plastic tubing when I was constipated. When I was in the Marines a Navy doctor gave me a prostate exam. I didn't think I had a choice. Only later did I learn that men don't need prostate exams until their 40's. Obviously he was just a gay squid wanting to stick his finger in my ass. He pushed on my prostate so hard I actually squirted stuff, and no, it didn't feel good.

Originally Posted by OG

.Well, i haven't posted in a while drink
so i figured this should be a good time. Its watoo late , like 630 am or soome shit like that
clearly im not in the mood to sleep yet cause , well lol
itbe would impossible now.
im jus bobbing my head n shitas i tyyepe , not even looking at this msg
h0onestly i dont reemember what i put in typing so far/
i know im on HO and thats what all that matters ! mattress i mean.!

So i dunno, shit is all mixed toothegether and washing in2o one word!
Ok why ami here?
ok i know this is HO
on the internet message board, but im not sure why im makieng this post !
Oh weel whatevver , clearly i drank one or myabe 2 coupouple drink of the alchoholic kind, but that dooesnt mean i had too@ much !
think what u want, it was oonly a COOUPLE OF SHOTS OF VODKA!


WHOOAA

ps . Amused is my heerroo! She is my hod and all of your nigger asses GOD !
She is a champ for what she is going thru right now , and ill agree i could do what she is doing and going thru !
None of u niggers can , i can bet anything !

Amused ur an insparation (sp) and everything to us all!

If anjyone disagrees , they can go FUCK themselves !
Love ya lots killer ! hang in there and remember..

HEADS UP !!!! always..heads up !

xoxox

Originally Posted by Shwing

If you just let it happen, with the warmth of a body up next to you, relax, let it happen. just close your eyes, know that you are pleasing someone who owns you, who is superior over you, it's okay....let that black cock in.

Originally Posted by Shwing

I still can't believe you guys think I'm crazy!!!!!

WTF?!?!?!?!

Like if it was like crazy like fun crazy, that's okay, but mental, nutso crazy?!?!

Not only that, but most of you guys have your moments, but don't post about it.

Most of what I post I'm fucking around anyway.

Why the hell are you guys so fucking serious? It's the INTERNET!!

At least OG, Mangler, and I, even if we are mental, nutso crazy, have a better chance of recovery since we're willing to be open about it and not all hiding shit and killing animals secretly in the backyard; wearing the opposite sex undergarments under our clothes; hiding our penises between our legs and dancing around the room (if I had a penis); putting hair in our lovers food so that they can have a part of us inside them, and so on!

Okay, well, I take it back about the hair thing. I did that, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!

WTF guys?!

Originally Posted by Reverend Sam

Oh, sure! I regularly masturbate into the food at company meetings because I love my employees so much, I want them to have as much of me as they possible can.

Originally Posted by AmuseD

I can't even imagine being quiet during sex...

Unless of course it's risky public kinda sex and then I would still only be able to accomplish it if there was a hand over my over my mouth as he takes me from behind and whispers nastiness into my ear...

Originally Posted by mangler65

Just ordered the daily special at Los Panchos for take out. It was something called Pescado Entero. I don't know what the hell "entero" means, but there is a whole fish, and I mean a COMPLETE fucking fish - head, fins and all in my styrofoam container! The thing is covered is some kind of batter. Guess I'm going back to order a quesdilla.

Fuck.

Originally Posted by dale_gribble

The best is when you pretend your cum is the grand wizard of the KKK and you try to get him into the pool (belly button) with one shot.

Originally Posted by dale_gribble

I actually went to my parents this weekend in Courtice which is all redneck, hard working folk, and some fucking nigger at the grocery store pretends he doesnt notice the 1-8 item sign. So fuck face unloads his 50 fucking items, then tries to use a maxed out mastercard (do they actually give credit cards to fucking blacks). anyway, the card doesnt work, and fuck face acts all surprised. Then he wants to try again. Then he says "please wait while I call the bank, I made a payment on it today".

Holy fuck man! Attention all banks, stop giving credit cards to blacks! They dont have jobs!

Originally Posted by OG

I'm more tired now than drunkish, so i dunno how this thread/post will go.


I was in for the night, chillin. My cell rings, it's Christina...a really hot 25 yr old, with a fit sexy body, big firm perky tits and an ass to die for. Her face is pretty nice too.
I met her through another friend.
So i got introduced to her as the guy that smokes weed lol. She kinda got to know me through my friend,we talked once on the phone 3way with her and my friend, next thing you know she got my # and called me one day . She was dying and in need to smoke a joint or to give her a dime bag lol
Ofcourse me being the nice guy i said sure i'll help ya out.
So i went to go meet her, keep in mind we've never met so i asked her what she is wearing so i know its her when she came down to her lobby.
She's like.."lol, i'll be the hottest chick standing in front outside waiting for you"

I thought to myself like, "ahahah yeah ok bitch"
But instead , i laughed and said ok .
So..
I puuulled, up to the house around 7 or 8 , yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya leter, looked at my kingdom as i was finally there, to settle my throne as the prince of Bel Air!
Just kidding lol
I got there, she wasnt there yet. Waited 5 min (typical women always late) then in my rear view mirror i see the front door of her condo swing open...
A tall-ish (5'8"), 135 lb-ish , double D sporting, tight ass semi bubble butt(1 of the hottest ass ive ever seen) brunette girl in a 1 piece black dress appears in front of my eyes.
Now i have an instant semmi hard on and convincing myself that this has to be her lol.
Sure enough she starts walking over to me( i told her what colour/car i'm in)
Leans in my pass side window and says "Tommy?"
Keep in mind how she was cocky at first about her self and that kinda pissed me off...So i replied with "no, you can call me, your savior !!(she wanted to smoke weed or have me sell her a dime bag bad, like a crack head was jonzing" So i figured i would dish the cockyness back at her. (i'm not a cocky guy, but be cocky towards me or fuck with me, i'll do it back twice as much to you)
Her replied to that was " a laugh followed by a " yeah eh" !
She got in my car , right away thanked me for coming through and shoved her tits pretty much in my face ahahha.
I gave her about 10 bux worth of weed from my personal stash. Then i asked you wanna smoke one ? Then she said yeah but i'm late for work.
Then she asks me , "wanna drive me to work" ..im like , and right away she said i'll give you 10 bux. lol
so ofcourse my first question was , where how far?
She points to 2 tall buildings across the mall, maybe..1 km of a drive.
I'm like you work at a condo building?
Shes like.."yeah, im a card dealer at an underground poker casino"

So inside im like ( ) but i reply with " yeah right, nice"
Keep in mind, i was still mesmerized by her awesome big tits that were half way popping out of her dress, but ofcourse i played it kool and didnt show or say anything that would make her ego even bigger as is.
So i looked at her(tits and half her face) and said , "10 bux? sure"
2 min later she was at her "work" . Me up 10 bux from the gas money lol,and i ended up giving her 3.5 grams of weed for 40 bux lol. So all in all i was up 25 bux for going 20 min outta my way to help a girl in need
Before all this i found out from the girl who introduced me to her that this girl Christina also works at a massage parlour or a "rub n tug"
So keeping everything in mind now!

NOW, here is the kicker/funny part..... before i dropped her off at her "job" as a card dealer, she was saying a story or something to me, i happen to glance up and away from her tits and look at her face!!
This is where my semi hard on went away...She is a hot and good looking face vise no lies. But as i looked up, i look at her lips as she was talking, and i almost laughed and at the same time...
She had a huge wart/herpese kinda thing that was on the corner of her lip.
Right away images started appearing in my head, images of her sucking and fucking all kinds of dirty guys at her other rub n tug job lol.
It was interesting lol
Ever since that time, i looked at her like yeah, i wanna fuck you but then in the back of my mind im like uhh, no its prolly not worth it!

One time she called me and asked if i wanted to blaze or if i had any greens cause her guy didnt come thru for her.
So i said yeah i have some for myself. So we ended up meeting up at her work. She had an hour to kill so she descided she wanted to have some drinks before work. So we went to a local chain joint. We went in and out in 10 min, she got to the point with 5 shots back to back while i drank a rum n coke, and then we left. On my way to drop her off, she goes" u wanna come in for a session, no charge"
I'm like huh? But i very well knew whats up lol
Shes like come in to my work ill show u what i do *wink wink*
Then the images from while back and her herpes infested lips popped in my head.
"ahh, i gotta go , i have someone waiting on me"
Call me a fag, but i dont need no dirty chick like that thanks .

So...tonight was her B day , she called me to smoke a J . I was at home not doing much, so i went to see her.
Yeah she was at her rub n tug job lol.
She comes out the back door of this place/plaza , in a small ass thong, her landing strip half way exposed, gets in my car lol.
I had one rolled , we started blazing(mind u, im smoking in a way where im not touching the end of the joint lol)
She asked if i had another joints worth of weed on me for later. So i helped a girl in need once again lol.
Half way thru the J i notice her tits are hanging right out of her tiny top. I look at her and tell her ur tits are hanging out haha, she didnt give a fuck lol.
I ended up taking a stealth video on my cell but its not the best quality hahha.
I dont even know where i can upload such vid.

Fuck anywa, this is usless shit im typing , i should go sleep.

PS. more reps are welcomed

Originally Posted by Ron Burgundy

Not guys, just Ron^^^
Sometimes I jack off to video of me jacking off, that's how good it is.

Originally Posted by dale_gribble

They could have used a womans ass at least. Who the fuck wants to pull toilet paper out of a dudes ass. Thats fucking disgusting!

Originally Posted by Frank Rizzo

A hole's a hole bro.

Originally Posted by Spur

at first I was like



but then I

Originally Posted by deathknell3000

One thing's for sure....

The female members of this board aren't shy....

Originally Posted by AmuseD

yeah all five or six of us... :35:

Originally Posted by Shwing

Why would we be shy? It's the INTERNET.

Originally Posted by AmuseD

Originally Posted by Jaybo

this fuckin turkey gives a better bj than barbara

Originally Posted by Frank Rizzo

Barbara is his mom you giant fucking noob. His wife's name is Laura.